I Look Better Naked!

While shopping for foundation wear, it was confirmed.  I look better naked.  Everyday I look at my entire body in a full-length mirror and get my mind right for the bare TRUTH.  I do a frontal check, side check, and a Rotunda Check.  (Although I can see Rotunda from the front and side view.)  Everyday! It is what it is folks.  By the time I’m finished showering and rubbing in that thick castor oil, not only am I exhausted, I get a daily reality check.  I LOOK BETTER NAKED!

I’m in the dressing room and charging towards me is a lady with out stretched arms with measuring tape.  I asked, “Do you have underwire, pushup, water foundation?” You already know where this is going.

I put on the first one and BAM! WAM! POW! Underarm fat pops out of nowhere. I have puff on my shoulder blades.  And my waist is the prepped dough rising.  Old Lady Fat (OLF) is EVERYWHERE! I shouted “ Hey Sale lady I asked for a Wonder Bra not a Fat Radar!”  $200 later I got a bunch of snaps, elastic, and adjusters…still in the bag.

The Naked Truth: I prefer the week after I’ve gotten my eyebrows done.  I love my hair a few days after the color treatment.  I live for the season of NOT shaving my Magilla Gorilla sticks everyday.  Some days I notice a little extra cushion.  When I am naked everything is in its rightful place.  The minute I start putting on fabric that’s when OLF shows up.

June 22 is No Panty Day.   At least that is what FL said.  I believe in foundation wear and I LOVE LOVE wearing Spanx.  But the truth is… I look better naked.

 

Dawn JOI

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